4 Steps To A Conscious Relationship

 

We are approaching a period of time when relationships are ready to go through a major redesign. The current paradigm isn't working. People are unsatisfied in love. They don't know how to make relationships work.

This is not a bad thing. Because when systems break down, that's when they change. This break down is guiding us to move toward conscious love.

This is a romantic relationship in which both partners feel committed to a sense of purpose, and that purpose is growth. Individual growth. Collective growth as a couple. Growth that makes the world a greater place.

 

This is the path to a Conscious Relationship...

 

 

 

1. The conscious couple is not attached to the outcome of the relationship: growth comes first.

 

This doesn't mean we don't care what happens or we can't fantasize about how the relationship will turn out. It means that we are more committed to the experience of growth than we are at making the relationship "work". The reality is, we are here to grow: physical, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. When growth stops, we automatically feel like something has gone wrong. Because it has. Without growth we are not fulfilling our soul's purpose.

Unfortunately, most relationships tend to stifle growth more than enhance it. We want our partners to act a certain way, we repress ourselves to please others, and soon enough, we feel small, oppressed and puzzled about what we've become. This inevitably makes the relationship feel like a cage we want to break out of. But the truth is we've caged ourselves. The conscious couple values growth above anything else because they know this is the secret to keeping the relationship alive.

 

 

 

2. Each person in the relationship is committed to owning their shit.

Conscious couples know they all have wounds from the past, and they understand that these wounds will be triggered, especially in a relationship. They expect they will feel abandoned, trapped, rejected, and any other shitty feelings that arise when we get close with another person.

Most people still believe that relationships should feel only good, and when bad feelings surface, something has gone terribly wrong. They fail to recognize that these issues are not caused by our partners, they are caused by our beliefs. The conscious couple is willing to look at their past and present issues because they know that by facing these beliefs systems, they can evolve into a new relationship reality. Dysfunctional patterns will dissolve, but only when we take responsibility for them first.

 

3. All feelings are welcome, and no internal process is condemned.

In a conscious relationship, there's room for feeling anything. Not only that, there's room to express those feelings and fantasies to your partner. This is an edgy territory that's not easy to accomplish, but it's also one of the most healing things we can experience in a partnership.

It's rare to be completely honest about who we are and stretch yourself to let your partner do the same. You may not like what you hear; in fact, it may trigger the hell out of you. But if you're willing to be triggered, it means your partner can be authentic. 

We are used to molding and changing ourselves to please people we love because we don't want them to stop loving us. This stifles the love out of our connections. The only option is radical honesty, revealing parts of ourselves that are hard to share and letting our partners do the same. This leads to feeling known, seen and truly understood. This will automatically enhance Love.

 

4. The relationship is a place to practice love.

Love, ultimately is a practice. A practice of acceptance, being present, forgiveness, and stretching your heart into vulnerable territory. Love is a journey and an exploration. It's showing up for all varied nuances of our relationship and asking our selves: what would Love do here?

The conscious couple is fiercely committed to being the embodiment of love. And through their devotion and practice, love shows up in their lives and relationship. 

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